what’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants ?
one’s a crusty bus station and one’s a busty crustacean#i’ve told this joke a million times and it NEVER fails
Why people ask me shit like “how was work?” or “how is school?” like work is work, school is school, I would rather be on a yacht right now while gettin some dick but here I am
girls don’t want boyfriends girls want a seven book series about the marauders’ life at hogwarts
this photo of zayn holding the irish flag high and showing off his happiest dweebiest nerdbaby scrunchface smile is probably the single best thing he could have given niall for his birthday i’m so—
YOOO I KNOW IM NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO REMEMBERS THIS SHIT. I JUST FORGOT THE NAME OF THE SHOW AND WHERE ITS FROM
WAIT literally waht the ufkc???
REMINDER: if you have a vagina and want to use Plan B as an emergency contraceptive, it loses effectiveness if you weigh more than 165 lbs (74.84 kg) and is completely ineffective for those that weight more than 176 lbs (79.83 kg) (x)
Let me spread the shit out of this.
This is horrifying. And sadly true.
If someone says “I love u” and you say “I love u 2” back, make sure you add “no Bono” so they know you mean that you love them too, not just the legendary Irish rock band U2
Oliver the Dog and Arashi the Cat: the cutest best friends ever!
it’s days like tonight and last night that i really wish i lived alone
my universe has reoriented itself around this pic of niall holding a stack of money